Crap -- Engadget

Crapgadget: 'All hope just might be lost' edition

by Darren Murph posted Nov 8th 2009 at 1:18AM

Tell us, readers -- haven't you dreamt deeply about shoving your hand into a toasty, moist hamburger at work in order to warm your digits without cranking the thermostat and irritating the Antarctica-born top brass? And tell us, haven't you always wanted a USB hub that doubled as an airplane toy? And honestly, don't even try to act like you've never longed for a fine-toothed comb that would stick out from your MacBook Pro whilst waiting at an airport. Amazingly, all of these radical fantasies can now be your own personal reality, as an unknown amount of faceless companies have inexplicably produced these very items and listed them for sale. Sure, the recession may be "over," but "hope" is still a long, long way from being found.

Read - iPhone chocolate case
Read - Crab earphones
Read - 4-port USB Aeroplane hub
Read - Hamburger USB warmer pad
Read - Monkey USB warmer pad
Read - Metallic car USB flash drive
Read - Fine-toothed comb USB drive

Crapgadget: "That's actually kind of offensive" edition

by Darren Murph posted Aug 17th 2009 at 8:36AM

We'll be honest -- most Crapgadget roundups consist of a litany of patently absurd, but totally innocent USB-related input peripherals. We aren't exactly sure what the Universal Serial Bus did to deserve such treatment, but evidently it slighted someone important along the way. But this time, things are... different. Oh sure, there's the jewel car necklace flash drive that inexplicably combines a "jewel" and a "car" on a "necklace flash drive," but it's the USB banana charger and USB aroma diffuser that really has our politically correct radars on high alert. Amazingly, the aforementioned atrocities are just the beginning, so feel free to visit each and every one of this week's losers and vote for the most disgusting down below. Choose carefully!

Read - Jewel car necklace USB flash drive
Read - USB banana charger
Read - Finger flick punching bag
Read - USB digital microscope, Part II
Read - Big nose shower gel dispenser
Read - Glitter ball alarm clock
Read - USB panda speaker
Read - USB aroma diffuser

Crapgadget: "Oh yeah, they're totally serious" edition

by Darren Murph posted Aug 10th 2009 at 3:13AM

Every so often, we come across a gadget (or five) that's so offensive, so absurd that we simply can't help but stick it in our back pocket and show it to the general public. Today, we're rounding up the worst of the worst once again, proving that there literally is no end to the spewing of gadget-related garbage that comes from unknown caverns in undisclosed corners of the universe. We mean, just listen to these products: "fried eggs night light," "Bic lighter spy camera," "hungry caterpillar USB hub," and "half-eaten chocolate mouse." Does those even sound like kit that any partially sane individual would purchase? No, no it doesn't. Have a gander while shaking your head furiously below, and feel free to drop a vote for the king of the crap while venting in comments below. Trust us, it's therapeutic.

Read - Half-eaten chocolate mouse
Read - USB Penguin 4-Port Hub
Read - Fried Eggs Night Light
Read - Spy camera Bic lighter
Read - USB Bulb Flash Drive
Read - Hungry caterpillar USB hub

Crapgadget: USB embarrassments shame Intel's rock stars

by Darren Murph posted May 24th 2009 at 2:32AM

Seriously, Ajay here would be downright ashamed. His Universal Serial Bus has found some seriously awesome uses over the years, sure, but the latest torrent of USB-equipped garbage is looking to do more harm than good to the venerable connector. In our latest roundup of crap found 'round the web, we see yet again that it's the USB-infused devices holding down the fort. From a flashlight-packin' USB SD card reader to a USB Parrot, our heads hurt from just imagining who among us is actually spending cold, hard credit on this rubbish. Feel free to inflict the same pain upon yourself by visiting the links below, and then cast your vote for the worst of the worst. Good luck, brave souls.

Read - USB SD card reader with flashlight
Read - Sparkling USB bracelet with no purpose or dreams
Read - USB Notebook Pocket Cooler puts 'Huffing' and 'Puffing' out of work
Read - Pepe, the USB Parrot
Read - 4-port USB hub gains a mirror... because it can
Read - Jewel Rose Pin USB Flash Drive: perfect for Great, Great, Great Grandmother's Day
Read - USB U-Shape i-Speaker just looks disturbing

Crapgadget: No wonder the economy sucks edition

by Darren Murph posted Apr 27th 2009 at 1:08AM

While we here at Engadget are doing everything in our power to get this philosophical "economy" back "on track," it's items like these that aren't doing anything to help. No innovation. No stimulating capabilities. No utility at all, really. Just a webcam that scans business cards, an MP3 player shaped like a cow and a flash drive that's absolutely not certified for circulation by the Democratic National Committee. Though, we must say that they're all tailor made for Crapgadget, which is (just barely) good enough for us -- drop your vote for the lamest below!

Read - CowCow MP3 player
Read - 4-Port Soccer Ball USB Hub
Read - MSI StarCam Flip Webcam
Read - USB Bird Fan
Read - Bling Bling USB Card Reader
Read - Obama Flash Drive

Crapgadget: gizmos to scar your USB port for life

by Darren Murph posted Sep 27th 2008 at 6:06PM

Some things just shouldn't ever be plugged into your USB port. Not even that dusty, never-to-be-used socket in your 16-port USB hub. The gadgets you'll see below are among the worst of the worst, with some being so awful, they almost deserve a purchase just to give you a laugh live and in-person. Seriously, just listen: an actual "thumb" drive, a USB key doused in cabbage, a mousepad that doubles as a Lars Ulrich-approved drum kit and a USB Hollywood Film Kit for those still in denial over that acting school rejection letter. There should really be laws against some of this rubbish, but since there isn't, we're putting it to you -- drop your vote in below to let us know which of the following gizmos reeks the most. Good luck down there.

Read - USB "thumb" drive
Read - Cabbage drive
Read - Hollywood Reject Kit
Read - High heels phone
Read - Finger drum mousepad
Read - Finger skateboard

USB anion humidifier soda can confirms you shouldn't be allowed to have a credit card

by Joshua Topolsky posted Aug 31st 2008 at 10:54AM

Worried that retailers might be running out of utter crap to sell? Been looking for that perfect accessory to go with your "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps" sign? Enter the USB-powered, soda can-shaped anion humidifier. Not only will this magical and totally necessary device clean the air around you and re-energize your fat, lazy body, but it will look cool while doing it -- you know, just sitting there being all soda-can-badass. When you absolutely, positively can't find anything else to do with $24.99, the "Portable Can Shape USB Office Home Miniature Anion Humidifier" is there.

[Thanks, Simon]

Crapgadget: USB back massager, limbo string and more obviously terrible ideas

by Darren Murph posted Aug 9th 2008 at 6:42PM

Remember those battery-operated vibrating ladybugs that people used to pass around (multiple times) as office gifts? Yeah, that critter ain't got nothing on this stable of patently awful gizmos. We've seen a remarkable amount of garbage pass under our noses in the past few weeks, and we've rounded up the worst of the worst for your consideration. So, is a USB shell speaker really more embarrassing than a V-Sports console for folks tired of searching for a Wii? Is the i-Knock personal IM notifier more unnecessary than the Encore Rockin' Music Lamp? Or does the OMG-inducing Limbo String walk away with the gold here? We know, each and every item is a festering turd in one way or another, but which of the ones below just exemplify the word "crap?" Choose carefully.

Read - USB shell speaker
Read - USB back massager
Read - V-Sports console
Read - i-Knock IM doohickey
Read - Encore Rockin' Music Lamp
Read - Limbo String

MP7 phone makes MP3 feel totally insignificant

by Darren Murph posted Mar 10th 2008 at 6:01AM

We've seen phones that push the boundaries of chintziness, but this newfangled MP7 phone really shows what humans are capable of when they've no motivation to assemble a decent product. Granted, most everything here is lost in translation, but the blatant "Blue tooth" logo on the front pretty much sets it up for disaster. Nevertheless, this GSM handset reportedly comes in silver or black and features a 320 x 240 touchscreen display, a 1.3-megapixel camera, built-in FM tuner and support for some form of mobile TV along with the elusive "MP7" format. Best of all, this marvelous gem of handset engineering can be had for $599.90 (or a dozen easy payments of $59.99) -- we can hear the N95 cowering from here (or is that laughter?).

[Via Saporra]

Audiovox must be kidding with its D1817PKG portable DVD player

by Darren Murph posted Dec 17th 2007 at 4:16PM

Sheesh -- what's it going to take to get a decent portable DVD player? Just after we'd been tricked into believing that it couldn't get any worse, along comes Audiovox to take things to a whole new low. This so-called conglomerate doesn't even bother sharing its screen resolution with us, but does take the time to showcase its rechargeable battery, integrated stereo speakers, pair of folding headphones and credit card sized remote. Additionally, you'll find a car power adapter, carrying case, and a controller to play the 30 surely riveting games that are built in. Here's a tip: take your $123 and do almost anything with it. Chances are you'll be better off than trying your luck with this thing.

Update: Audiovox pinged us to let us know the screen resolution is actually a halfway respectable 720 x 480 pixels, and it also touts composite video in / out along with headphone / RCA audio outputs.

[Via SlashGear]

USB remote (doesn't really) store away in a PCMCIA slot

by Conrad Quilty-Harper posted Nov 25th 2007 at 10:53AM

If you're gonna make a remote that stores away in your laptop's PCMCIA slot, you probably shouldn't make it so it sticks out. Unfortunately, that's exactly what the USB Media Remote from USB Geek does, and it also includes a USB dongle that sticks out too. Frankly, we'd rather go for any other option than deal with all the hassle that this $30 gadget promises to bring.

[Via Everything USB]

Tiny USB-powered desk vacuum totally doesn't suck

by Conrad Quilty-Harper posted Nov 3rd 2007 at 9:44PM

Forgive the pun, but we feel that's the best way to describe this particular gadget: for only $19.99, a "USB desk vacuum" can be yours, and you can say goodbye to those photo-perfect bits of grit that always seem to accumulate next to your laptop. More than likely it'll break after five minutes, just like every other unamusing office gift you'll receive this holiday season. Coming to a USB-powered trash can near you!

[Via Pocket Lint]

Thanko's Gold Ingot USB Hub: for pirates?

by Thomas Ricker posted Nov 24th 2006 at 9:54AM

Damn, it just doesn't get any more craptacular than this, the Gold Ingot USB hub from Thanko. The best part sure isn't the 8-ports of USB 2.0 action, the ¥5,980 (about $52) price tag, or even the fact that it weighs as much as a laptop at 5.18-pounds. No, the best part is "Fake Gold" engraved right up top to impress the ladies. Class man, real class. Oh, and be sure to check their pirate pitchman after the break... arrrg!

[Via Impress]

Continue reading Thanko's Gold Ingot USB Hub: for pirates?

Thanko's Silent Keyboard...shhh

by Thomas Ricker posted Jun 13th 2006 at 8:25AM

From the folks who brought us the silent mouse and PC in a vat of vegetable oil (oh wait, that wasn't them) comes the Silent Keyboard. Thanko's latest contribution to the inane claims to squash that tap-tap-tap to a squishy silicone whisper -- cutting the typical 61dB blast from a standard keyboard in half. Yours for the low, low price of ¥5,800 or about $51 cash money.

[Via Impress]